you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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