I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You're like the curious george of whores
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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