you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
