it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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