When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
