but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
