i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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