i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
