would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
