i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
