is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
