I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
