He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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