Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
