Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
