Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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