I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize