everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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