I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
