And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
