Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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