Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
