I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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