i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
