i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
