What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
