if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The air taste purple.
Randomize