bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
