I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
