either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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