1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
