It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
