the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
