i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
