Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
