i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
