sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
