what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sorry about my life...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize