He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
