She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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