I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
