apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
