We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize