Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
