apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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