so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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