she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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