i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
