My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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