oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
