He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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