One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
