I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
