I cockslap morals
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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