i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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