I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
