i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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