In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize