I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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