he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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