Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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