Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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