they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
