What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
