There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
