ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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