I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
