the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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