i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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