Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
