i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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