Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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