Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
