Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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