ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
